Climbing Out of the Valley of the Can’ts

There is someone who lives in the Valley of the Can’ts and they need help getting out. I know; I’ve been there.

One day, a couple of months before my 43rd birthday, my soon-to-be wife looked me in the eyes and encouraged me to pursue my passions. I was telling her that I just couldn’t see myself achieving some of my goals and it frustrated me to no end. This woman could have easily given some motivational you-can-do-it mumbo jumbo but that’s not how it went down. After a line of questioning, she gave me specific reasons that I would succeed. Then it hit me that I had been in an emotional valley the better part of my adult life and for good reasons.

You see, I was introduced to the Valley of the Can’ts at the beginning of my career. My first job out of college was around folks who took pleasure in telling people what they couldn’t do. A manager told me why I couldn’t get a promotion. My boss took pleasure in telling me what I couldn’t do and why he had to keep me “under control.” I was told why I couldn’t get pay increases even after winning a market award.

Then there were the personal relationships. People whom I trusted told me what I couldn’t do. There were women in my life who convinced me that the Valley of the Can’ts wasn’t as bad as it seemed. But I knew the truth the entire time. The Valley of the Can’ts sucks.