Narcissism, Bullying and Racism’s Attempts to Quiet Emotionally Intelligent Voices

I don’t worry about people with titles so much as I worry about those who support them. To this day, it amazes me that there was no outcry among conservatives when Donald Trump narcissistically proclaimed at the Republican National Convention, “I am your voice. I alone can fix it. I will restore law and order.” The very folks who consistently harped on Barack Obama’s narcissism somehow allowed that part of Trump’s nomination speech to go unchallenged. There was no outrage from Trump’s supporters when he failed to immediately condemn the racists whose march on Charlottesville resulted in the death of Heather Heyer. I can go on all day, but this isn’t about a man. This is about how deep narcissism, bullying and racism run in this land which has oddly been made “great again.”

Americans who wish to maintain the values of public interest and human dignity must understand the intentions of this dangerous, empowered culture. Whether they look to a figure like Roy Moore to represent them, cheer rogue police who kill innocent citizens or fully support the lies of fake news, narcissists, bullies and racists mean to neutralize any voice that challenges their views. Those of us who give a damn should continue to speak out loudly and clearly.

When narcissism strikes…

As a grad student researching narcissistic leadership, I’ve found that narcissism is more complex than we think. While folks tend to view narcissism as arrogance, vanity and lack of empathy — all traits of narcissism — that scratches the surface. The Narcissism Spectrum Model suggests that narcissists care most about self-importance which drives grandiosity and feelings of vulnerability. So, in a narcissist, you’re dealing with someone whose primary attitude is a sense of entitlement. Based on that, our narcissist friend exhibits hubris with grandiose visions and language. But, if the narcissist doesn’t get his or her way, you have to deal with emotional volatility as they become more and more vulnerable.

And it’s not just one type of narcissist you have to deal with. Will it be what Kristen Milstead calls the classic narcissist which is your garden variety grandiose “Michael Scott” type who simply thirsts for attention? Or will you be dealing with any one of the “Silicon Valley” characters who I would argue are mostly vulnerable narcissists — the types who don’t necessarily have to be in the spotlight but feel superior to…